Yes, still alive and not barely breathing—breathing like what normally healthy people with healthy lungs do. I actually never thought I’d be writing here (or even anywhere) again, but I guess that’s how sadness makes us… Give us an idea of quitting anything.

I’m a proud bee, knowing where I am standing now. Never thought I’d reach this point—like moving forward and not just stuck to where dark & twisty become isolated. I can’t say certain things and people have been forgotten (okay, talking about the previous breakup) but it’s reaching the “edge of glory” as I stepped into Kubler-Ross’s final stage of griefing (DABDA), A for “Acceptance”.

In respect for the other side of the story, I’ll maintain myself as discreet as possible on how things ended up. 

I am beyond grateful for what have happened comes with a series of blessings. :)

Blue and Green :)

As a floater, I have the cons of being pulled out in any area where “toxicity” is most likely to happen. I am the Little Miss Pull Out Nurse of Blue and Green Team. At first, it made me feel burnout at the end of the day. But it’s a perfect diversion from you-know-what. The pros? I get to have two teams. Lots of night outs to attend to :)

Goodbye 15 lbs!

We have different coping mechanisms with sadness, some gain weight, some lose them. I lost fifteen lbs. Yes. Ohh, in one month. -_- That means I got my old clothes back! 

Friends with Benefits.

Not THAT benefits. From what happened, I learned the true ones that will stick up with me, mope and let me eat mango ice cream. When I told them, my friends went straight to our home bringing all the comfort foods I love and Mickey Mouse stuffs. Oh, plus having them as alcohol buddies. Guilty!
 

Family.

My mom was the first to know. I sent her a text that afternoon. After that, I tried not to speak with her for one day thinking it will break her and shed of tears will come out of my tear ducts. Then the next day, I told my sisters and started crying. FYI, I don’t cry easily before all of these happened. And when I get to know what really broke the relationship apart, I rushed into my Dad’s room and broke out. He’s in shock, not knowing what to do with me  since he has always seen me very strong. I was weak, like I lost everything. The next day, Dad brought along lots of chocolates to my room as he gave me some of his “Boy-problem advices.” My mom was with me all through out. She was a fan of this 5/6-yr old relationship and it is such pain as I see her disappointed whenever she see me crying. After 15 days of crying in the morning and evening, I decided to stop with the misery and hurting my family. All they want me to do is move on, be better and to forgive&forget. I feel so blessed, all the more as I write this. 

God. 

“If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am.” 2 Corinthians 11:30

The best thing that has happened to me is that I felt closer to Him, more and more. :) 

And better things, better people will come along. :) 

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